"Bond Behind Bars" aka the longest day of my life.

I have heard nothing about good things about Pub Crawl. From the random waitress in South Beach that told me to go, to local Aussies, even the high schoolies that we train for volleyball with all recommend us to go. The second later Pub Crawl sold out within a few hours and by the time we bought our tickets we got on the 2:30 pm pub crawl. The best part about Pub Crawl is that it is sponsored by BUSA which is the equivalent of SGA at SLU. It is the student government and a huge fundraiser for the school. It was going to be 5 bars, tons of people, lots of drinks, drunken idiots, and hopefully no bodily fluids that didn't reach a toilet on anyone's part.

We grabbed lunch at Bond Cafe before the crawl so that we had some substance in our stomach before a long day of drinking ahead. We jumped on the 2nd bus in front of Don's and headed to the first bar Robina Tavern. When we arrive we notice that there are kids playing in the playground outside. This is not normal. So we hurry inside to hide our shame of day-drinking. We were welcomed into the door with a shot of mixed drinks in hopes of us buying the drink at the bar. We walk to the bar and ask for the specials. The bars are super smart and only allow people to buy pre mixed drinks that do not have a very high alcohol content. Libby and I make a rule that I insist on following for the sake of my reputation and my liver. Absolutely no more than 2 bars per bar and a water bottle at each. So I start out the day with a white wine spritzer called West Coast, a surprising choice on my part that will soon become a go to drink of choice. The guys find the greatest thing ever in their minds. MAN-weisers. For a very low cost of $5.50 a stubbie. That is actually one of the cheapest beers/drinks in the bar and to everyone's embarrassment they stand in a single line saying the pledge of allegiance, happy to not only have an American beer (which it isn't anymore mind you) but a St. Louis beer as well. That is when I spot him. PAULY-D from Jersey Shore. ok ok don't get your panties in a bunch it wasn't the real Pauly-D, but it looked IDENTICAL to him. I knew we would be fast friends, when he falls off his chair. I restate that to, IF he makes it far in the crawl, we will become fast friends. That when the prison-guards blow their whistles and we are bused off to the next bar.

We next head to the ever popular CBD as our second stop on pub crawl. I FINALLY get to meet Pauly-D, who to my disappointment, is actually named Shaun, but I refuse to call him anything but Pauly-D all night. He and his friend Wes start talking to us and buy us the next round. They order a round of shots and I say a silent thank-you that the bar won't serve them. It is only 4 and I should not be taking shots. So I stick to my drink of choice and stay with it all night. We here a bunch of commotion coming from the corner of the bar, and just shake our heads when we see all of our friends from SLU playing Zumie Zumie and flip-cup in the the corner of the bar. We have to go join for a least one round. After a few rounds of Zumie Zumie, Libby and I take a lap to meet new people. We find some girls on our floor and chat for a little when Pauly-D comes up to me again. He wants to dance of course. He being a drunken stumbling idiot, and myself laughing at his stupidity. My response? Sorry, I do not know how to dance I was never taught. Granted, for those who do not know me, is quite possibly the largest lie I could ever tell and just a down-right insult. He claims he will teach me, and I again respond, sorry I've tried and it's an impossible task sorry! And silently think to myself this better not be a persistent thing. I excuse myself to go "smoke," even though I refuse to smoke and hate the smell of cigarettes. Luckily the prison guards blow their whistles shortly after as we leave CBD for the next bar. On the way out they hand out stubbie coolers (coozies, so I grab 3 naturally) and a bottle of water and I run onto the buses.

It feels unnatural to arrive at East when the sun hasn't even set yet. But the familiar bar feels right as the music is pumping. Pauly D continues to try and dance with me, and it gets to the point where I see him on one side of the bar and I RUN to the other side in order to avoid him at all cost. The best part of East was when i saw him being escorted out of East for being entirely too intoxicated. My heart fluttered with excitement as I skipped back to my friends and joined in on the festivities. That is when the great thing in the world happened. The Asian foreign exchange students were taking an obscene amount of pictures together. I knew I had to get into this picture and befriend them all. Yes. I know NONE of the people that are in this picture and yes I am newly found friends with every single one of them. I am only disappointed that the crazy American jumped in our picture. (no not me, the only other one). And as the whistles ring, we jump on the bus to the next bar.

The bus ride to Mermaid Beach Bar and Grill was by far the funniest thing ever. We were screaming chants with all of the South American kids. Classic soccer (or futbol I should say.) chants like OLE OLE OLE OLE and then we started the SLU chants. The SLU fight song is rung throughout our bus as we lead everyone is singing the song that get the half full chafeitz arena every basketball game. Then Jeff leads high school football chants that gets everyone together. I didn't even realize when we arrived at the bar for our next stop. As we were waiting to get into the bar I felt a sudden immediate pain on the 4th toe of my right foot. I look down to see a cigarette, face down, on my toe. My precious 4th toe that is the main victim of anything that happens with my feet. I scream at the top of my lungs at the male who dropped it and demand that he buy me a drink to compensate for my pain. It didn't work. He said sorry and ran away. oops! Mermaid was an interesting bar. The upstairs was full of bondies, but the downstairs is a much older male crowd. And the waitress/shot girls were in just racy lacy underwear. As a female, I was uncomfortable. As someone under the age of 35, I was uncomfortable. As a person that doesn't like to be objectified, I was really uncomfortable. We learned quickly to stay upstairs. We were playing games and having fun and I didn't even notice Shauna grabbed my arm. Apparently some people wanted to meet us. That is where I met these guys who shall remain nameless, that turned out to be stage 6 clingers. I am still dealing with that in hopes to break free of the cycle. I was all okay with heading out to the next bar.

Shooters. The Final Bar. They dropped us off in the middle of Surfer's Paradise, and we had to find our way to the bar. After running through the shopping areas and just trying to stay with the people who were dressed like us, we finally found our way. Shooters was a sweet bar and very efficient to be on their VIP list. There was dancing and craziness and around 11/1130 we all got very tired and tried to find the bus back. The bus was in the most bizarre location and it took around 10 minutes to find it's location. Once we did, the bus driver was not present. So Libby and I got behind the driver seat and honked the horn pretending to drive it. After we finally got his attention, we drove back to Bond in a hopes of getting a great night sleep.

It was finally time to rest my liver, body, and most of all my wallet.